The transfer window opens in two weeks’ time which means we’re in the eye of the storm when it comes to sizzling speculation, rambunctious rumours, glorious gossip and triumphant tittle-tattle. 

Given Arsenal’s need for new recruits and the number of fringe players set to return from loan, it’s clear we’re in for a busy summer. 

As a wise man, once said, “Ah sh*t, here we go again.”

Nicolas Pepe
🛫 Paris Saint Germain
Source: Foot Mercato

It’s pretty clear Arsenal are happy for Pepe to leave and with the player changing agent you imagine he’s readying himself for a new challenge. Clearly he’s on big bucks at Emirates Stadium following his £72 million transfer so it’s going to need a big club to take him off our hands. PSG have more money than sense, they’ve just said farewell to Angel di Big Ears and are set to appoint Luis Campos, the former director of football at Lille, where Nico previously played his football. It’s enough to make us believe this just a little. 

Poo-o-meter: 💩💩💩💩💩


Serge Gnabry
🛬 Bayern Munich
Source: Bild

Serge is out of contract at the Allianz Arena in 2023 and is stalling on a new deal because Bayern Munich won’t pay him what he wants. Given the circumstances, a cut-price sale is potentially on the cards. As romantic as a reunion would be, we’re struggling to believe we’ll commit to his huge wages even if the £25 million fee sounds doable. Maybe next year when he becomes a free agent. 

Poo-o-meter: 💩💩💩💩💩💩💩💩


Oleksandr Zinchenko
🛬 Manchester City
Source: Various

Following another injury-hit season for Kieran Tierney and the erratic performances of Nuno Tavares, it appears Mikel Arteta continues to scout the market for further depth at left-back. Udinese’s Nahuel Molina, Inter’s Federico Dimarco and Bologna’s Aaron Hickey have been on the radar for a while and now there are links with Zinchenko. Arteta likes the Ukrainian’s versatility – he can also play in midfield – and according to the Telegraph, the Premier League champions won’t stand in his way if he wants to leave. A fee of £25 million has been suggested. 

Poo-o-meter: 💩💩💩💩💩💩


Youri Tielemans
🛬 Leicester City
Source: Various

Barring a last-minute hiccup (like us writing a draft confirmation story 👀), we’re fully expecting this deal to get done. 

Poo-o-meter: 💩


Alvaro Morata
🛬 Atletico Madrid
Source: Sport

We had to look up who actually owns Morata because the bloke has moved around a lot recently. In the last 12 years, he’s done a couple of stints with Real Madrid, a couple with Juventus, a couple with Atletico Madrid and one spell at Chelsea. Sport obviously haven’t been reading any Dan Brown novels…he’s definitely heading back to the Bridge. 

Poo-o-meter: 💩💩💩💩💩💩💩💩💩


Cody Gakpo
🛬 PSV Eindhoven
Source: Various 

Playing off the left wing for PSV, Gakpo’s 21 goals and 15 assists in 47 games have caught the eye of a host of big-name clubs. He’s bound to have suitors but seems wary of leaving comfortable surroundings with a World Cup on the horizon. Indeed, this week he said: “It would be a shame if I went somewhere where I wouldn’t get a game at all and I could miss the World Cup. I’ll keep that in mind.” Way to back yourself, Cody. 

Poo-o-meter: 💩💩💩💩💩💩💩